Chapter One (of one)

“It’s spelled ‘Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E’”

“What?”

“It should be, “’Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E’ saying really awful things about my mother,’” not ’Y-O-U-R.’

“I didn’t spell anything; I was talking to you.”

“Yeah, but I could tell by the way you pronounced it.”

That was the moment Catherine decided she would have to kill Jonathan.

T-Minus 44 Days/Here's To Hoping That The Band Is More Of A Success Than The Political Party

Last night six of my bravest friends and I ventured into Northern Kentucky and saw The Whigs put on a great show. It was a miserable place and a miserable crowd, and when the second of the bad local opening acts asked the crowd of twenty (not kidding) who was there to see The Whigs, Buddy and I were the only ones making noise. I'm not totally sure why he felt the need to ask, as he could have assumed that the rest of the crowd, composed of his family and girlfriend (not kidding), almost certainly were there to see him. But The Whigs made the most of it, and had the girls we went with gave the obligitory "It's not my kind of music, but I think they did a good job," before they tried to convince me that I now have to attend a Taylor Hicks show with them (not kidding). It's not happening girls, but thanks for coming to the show anyway. You can hear The Whigs album on I-Tunes, and the lead singer told me they were in the process of finishing up another album. One of the perks of no one attending a good show is the opportunity to get the news straight from the band. And the fact that the last thing the drummer said to me was "Go Dawgs!" was a nice touch.

O.K. Chicken: People who refer to rain as "retail sunshine."

T-Minus 62 Days

Ivan Maisel posted a list of the best college football players who wore each number, and he had to pretend like it was a tough choice choosing Herschel over Bo Jackson. If Bo knows anything, he knows Herschel was the easy answer.















Bo's Finest Hour

I'm All Grown Up Now

Taken out of context, I could have just experienced my very own "Lost Weekend." But being that it was in Detroit, it will only be known as the "Do all wedding DJs have to be so creepy? Weekend."

Now for some early summer cleaning:
I promised earlier a 2006-2007 Football calendar. Don't think that I've fotrgotten. I have a copy of it in my apartment right now, but I've got no clue how to get a document like that up here. And I'm not just saying that to sound slightly less geeky.
Final numbers: Spelling Bee-5.5 rating. GAME 7 of the Stanley Cup- 3.3. Snot-nosed American boys and girls trounce Canada's best. If Tony wasn't on his honeymoon, and I thought anyone who would care would be reading this I wouldn't paraphrase this without a source. But he is, and I don't have one, so here goes something I heard after the U.S.'s hockey performance at this year's Winter Olympics: If the best athletes in the United States played hockey, we wouldn't even know of Wayne Gretzky. Dag.
I decided a little while ago that I'm not going to write much about God here anymore. My tone in this blog is silliness, mixed with sarcasm, with a bit of "this guy cares WAY too much about music or football." I promise the lack of writing about God in this blog has nothing to do with me placing too little importance on Him; if anything, it's because I'm placing little importance on this blog.

That being said,

COMING SOON:
Why I Love Football: An as-many-parts-as-I-want essay on the thing that makes me pout the most.

Ben Roethlisberger Riding His Motorcycle Without a Helmet Because He (a Football Player) Doesn't Like Wearing Helmets Is Like:

I don't really have a punchline for that. I'm heading up to Detroit tomorrow for a wedding and I'm thrilled about the five hours of good music home and back. And, of course, Detroit. Who doesn't love Detroit? In the span of two months I'll have travelled the furthest West and North I've ever been (by the way, that's a sentence that I guess could be interesting, but I have to admit reads terribly boring). If all goes well, I'll be listening to yet another great band to come from Athens: The Whigs. I think I hate the name, but at least they make up for it by titling their album "Give 'Em All A Big Fat Lip." Please listen to it, I think you'll love it.

This post is also a warning. In the coming days I'll be adding a new link, and this one is going to be authored by a girl. So all you dudes out there, you're going to have to start wearing pants when you read this.

It's hard for Americans to watch a sport that we've never been very good at. Futbol's not doing itself any favors.

I can't find out a way to make this football related, but don't think I didn't notice that Isiah Thomas made himself the Knicks new head coach.

I'm out of time, but I promise I'll have something better after I return from that state up north.

I Have No Words To Express My Love

I can't believe I haven't posted this picture yet. Yes, that is Vince Dooley side-by-side with the Godfather of Soul. Beat that.

Random University of Georgia Stuff That I Wouldn't Care About If They Didn't Play Football, But Since They Do Have Football, Has Me Geeked

In celebration of the fiftieth anniversary of our mascot, a white English bulldogs known as "UGA," UGA (the university) is selling t-shirts promoting "350 Dog Years of Excellence." This is also the mascot that has his own documentary, attended the Heisman Trophy ceremonies, and has each incarnation (we're currently on UGA VI) buried within the confines of Sanford Stadium.

I know I've mentioned this story to at least one of you, and I'm sure nothing is more boring than having to hear a college women's gymnastics story twice, so I apologize. Keep in mind, however, that these same NCAA women's gymnastics finals got better ratings than the playoffs for the fourth of the "Big Four", Dave. UGA's gymnastics coach (I promise I don't know her name) decided to schedule every other team in the preseason top-ten poll. Then proceeded to run the table, and win the National Championship unblemished. This is the programs fourth undefeated season. No other team has ever done it once, and 27 of its 36 wins were against teams that spent at least one week in the top ten. Can you imagine this happening in college football or basketball? I've got to think that the three gymnastics fans in the nation will never stop talking about it. Keep in mind, that it only took three to out-do one of the "Big Four." Hey, Dave, since gymnastics is actually a sport (as opposed to NASCAR), and the ratings for its "playoffs" topped the NHL's, is this considered a changing of the guard?

Somehow, The Second "C" Is Silent

Sorry about the lack of new material here; the combination of me not having a computer/May possibly being the most action packed month of my life kept me away. And May also included the original date for our Vegas trip.

This does not, however, mean I wasn't able to put together my second-annual football calendar. This time it's going online for all to reference. You'll have to wait a little while for me to get it online, so in the meantime let's talk Connecticut.

As I'm sure many of you have already heard, the governing body for high school athletics in Connecticut put in place a new rule this year for football. If a team wins by more than 50 points, the coach for the winning team is automatically suspended for the next game. I may come off as biased because of my affinity for absurd blowouts, but I think we can all agree that this is ridiculous.

My alma mater, Northwestern High, won a total of three (3) football games in my four years there. My senior year, our closest game was a 35-0 drubbing. If this rule was in effect, exactly half of our opponents would have to leave their coaches at home for the next game. If, by chance, a team had a bye-week after they played us and then played an opponent that just finished demolishing us the previous week, both teams would have assistants at the helm. In a game against a "rival" of ours, Kenton Ridge, we took our punishment to the tune of 60-7. Our crowd roared after we scored that lone touchdown in the final minutes. It meant it only took us four (4) games to score a single point, and we also knew it meant that the K.R. squad would be running laps in practice the next day. In Ohio, we teach our high schoolers to try their hardest, even if you're a third-stringer and your team's already put up a point-a-minute through three quarters. Coaches do need to be held responsible for these beatings, but not the coaches of the winning teams. We weren't playing state champs; we were playing conference opponents. I like Stuart Scott's quote: "I am not your defensive coordinator." You have a full week to teach; Friday night is when you let the kids show what they've learned. So, if after that week of teaching, one group of fifty high school boys can pound another group of fifty high school boys that badly in 48 minutes, we may be shaking our finger at the wrong sideline.

P.S. I was on the phone with Dave-O yesterday and got really excited when I realized that it's a virtual lock that the National Spelling Bee is going to end up with better ratings than the Stanley Cup Final. The NHL is only going to be broadcast for games 3-7*. To be fair, we'll only count the deciding game of the Finals so they can have equal coverage, since there's no way an average for the Finals beats out the Bee. Maybe then Dave will stop referring to the NHL as part of the "Big Four." (see Around The Horn) That's like calling Alabama, Auburn, and UAB the "Big Three" of college football in the state of Alabama. I guess technically UAB is the third biggest team there, but it's a pretty sizable dropoff.

*if necessary

First OK-Chicken in a long while: Anyone who makes a big deal about the winner of American Idol receiving more votes than any American President in history. First of all, it's just not accurate. More people voted for a winner, but not the winner. The votes for the final night of American Idol were around sixty million, which is forty-million fewer than the last American Presidential election. Unless the winner received virtually every vote, he wouldn't have topped the approximately 55 million votes Bush received. So stop it. Plus, we have the whole "you can vote as many times as you want, and you don't even have to get off you lazy butt to vote" thing. I know someone who still considers himself a man who said he was up until one in the morning voting. I think you can all guess who this "man" is. And if you can't, it was Buddy.

P.P.S. I "performed" a spell check on this before I posted it, and I misspelled, "Spelling." Thankfully, "speeling" is not a word and the mistake was caught. I'm not going to "pull" a spell check on this P.P.S., so let's see how it all turns out when I jump without a net.